Plain and Simple...

I want more kids. I do. I won't lie.  We lost the twin to my little Anna, and found out later that it was not a good idea for me to have anymore kids.  My body is just not wired right to handle the pregnancy thing.  And besides, B took one for the team, hee hee.  I knew that decision was final, and I am alright with that. 

Plain and simple, B and I know for a fact that our family is not complete.  There is a void and we notice it on a daily basis.  My heart earns for completion.  This would be so much easier if I could just have another baby, but that is not the answer.  At least not for us. 

So, with a lot of prayers and talking to those who have either been adopted or have adopted, we have found our answer.  A couple of weeks ago, B and I met with a counsler from the Utah Foster Care Foundation.  Our first meeting went really well.  We spoke of so many things and answered so many questions.

•  Is our family ready for an additional family member?  Have we talked to our kids about this?
• Can we handle having a child in our house for a year or more and have them taken back to their family?  Could we handle the news of the abuse or neglect of this child? 
• Would we welcome them in our home with open arms, no matter their race, religion or health problems? 
• Are we willing to help them with patience, love and concern?
• What age group do we want?  There are negatives and positives to all of them, including babies.
• They most likely will have sleep problems, behavioral and emotional problems. 
• Most of the kids hord their food because they don't know when their next meal will come.

So many questions, all came with honest answers and some with real hesitation.  I would be lying if I told you that I walked away feeling amazing and excited.  Truth is I walked away feeling scared and questioning my ability to do a good job.  Who am I to do this?  Is this right for our family?  I am not a perfect mother and our family is full of chaos on it's own.  But I did walk away feeling stronger than I ever have about the decision that B and I have made.  I have no idea what to expect.  I have no idea what the future may bring, but I am hoping that this process will bring us closer to bringing a child into our home.  I am convinced someone out there needs us as much as we need them.  I want that child to come into our home knowing that they will be loved and safe.  That's really all I want.  To give a child a chance. 

 

I hope I can do this.  It's going to take time, patience and prayer.  This road is going to have it's up's and down's, probably more down's, but we are ready. I can't wait to get to the next step.  The month of March will be full of information and classes and getting our background check done.  There will be emotions that I am sure I have never experienced and won't know how to handle.  We will just be taking this one step at a time and I truly can't wait to see what happens.