Owl, Bee's, a ball and boom...

It seems like summer has flown by.  Maybe because I haven't really been home for most of it.  But, when I am home, we make the best of our time and go out on daily adventures.

For the 24th of July, we went to a Bee's Game with Gramma and Grampa E., our cousins and aunt and uncle. 

 There was a guy with an owl outside of the stadium.  The kids were fascinated by the yellow eyes and the fact he could turn his head all the way around.

Here we are thourghly enjoying the front row right behind 3rd base or AKA, "watch out for foul balls." 

 Uncle D caught one and then about 20 minutes later, Mara did too!

Needless to say, William was devistated when Mara caught the ball.  He patiently waited ALL night with his glove in hand to catch one.  He even stopped the baseball players passing by to ask if he could have one.  Sorry, Will man, next time!

How else do you end pioneer day?!  With fireworks... 

Two wheels...

My little Anna is growing up.  It's making me sad and happy at the same time.  I love watching her learn.  I just wish it would slow down a bit.

 As she pulled away from B, there was a tear in my eye and I'm pretty sure in B's.  She is the last one that we will teach this too.

Oh and she rode her bike for about 5 hours straight that day.

Way to go Anna!



Change and thanks...

Why does change have to be so scary even when you know it's the right thing to do?  It's never as bad as I think it may be and I find myself spending WAY to much time worrying about a whole lot of nothing.  More change is coming my way and it's a good thing.  I am so happy to have had certain experiences in the last couple of months. They have pushed me to stand up for what I believe in, be a better person and really step out of my comfort zone and look at what I have and what I can become.  It's funny how life works.  Just when you think you're comfortable, things change and that change can give you a completely different perspective on EVERYTHING. 

This change is not coming easy, but I have an overwhelming amount of support and I am very excited for the future.  So, I need to take a moment and thank certain people.

*  To my husband, all I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving me.  I know sometimes it can be hard and I can be extremely difficult, but there is no one else that I would rather be on this crazy ride with!  Your support in all that I do means everything!  Thank you and I love you.

*  To my kids, you are my little crazy bugs that I cannot live without!  I miss you more than you will EVER know.  Thank you for letting me take this crazy ride and for being soooo good through it all.  I hope that you will always know that you make my heart so happy and that I am hugging you from afar.

*  Thank you to my mom for understanding me and loving me. Your support is everything to me and it feels good to know that I have made you proud.

*  Thank you to my sister, Lauren. Thank you for reminding me what I miss and what is important. I really do love cooking and baking for others, painting a room 10 over and being with my babies. Seeing you write it, gave me courage. Thank you.

*  To my nanny Natalie, you have given me no reason to worry and this is the best gift anyone can give me.  Thank you for loving my kids and being there for me.  You are a huge blessing in our family.

*  CF and EP THANK YOU for listening to me last week and always being there. EP, thanks for taking a walk around the lake with me the other night! Your perspective on life is beautiful and your friendship means the world to me. Thank you for being you! 

*  And to EP's daughter AP,  you have been such an amazing example to me from afar!  Thank you for standing up for what you believe in and just being you.  You have wisdom being your years.  That wisdom has given me the courage to be me.  Sound silly, I know, BUT you have done this for me and I thank you.

*  I am thankful for girls nights out with some of the most wonderful ladies EVER! You know who you are! I also missed a bunch of others the other night! When is the next ladies night or cabin trip?!

*  Thank you to my sales team at work.  You all make me laugh and you challenge me.  You make every day away from my kids easier.  You are all amazing.

*  Thank you to my sis in law, WP.  Thank you for being an amazing sister.  How lucky am I that I not only got a wonderful husband, but a sister as well.  Love you girl!

Thank you to everyone out there that has made a difference in my life.  This list could keep going and going.  I feel incredibley blessed and loved and for that I am so grateful!  I only hope that I can return the favor to all of you some day! 

Heres to the future and some really great changes!

Sad face...

Is this the saddest face you have ever seen?!

 NOPE, this is!!

Long story short, Mara and William woke up one morning at 6am wide awake are ready to take on the day!  So, I decided to take them on a bike ride.  Anna slept in that day and this is her reaction when we got back.  Completely left out and sooooo sad.  This breaks my heart/ makes me laugh all at the same time.  Needless to say, I took her out for a mommy/ Anna date that morning.

Thinking...

The sun is shining and it warms my skin, even through this window that I am propped up on. The warmth is very hypnotic. I usually don't like the sun. It hurts my eyes and I DO NOT like being hot. I am happier person when it's cold and dreary outside, but right now the sun feels good. Since I have been working, I haven't seen much of the sun or the sky for that matter. There are many days where I drive to work shortly after sunrise and get home as the sun is setting. I drive to and from work in a zone. I am always going going going. I work in a basement appropriately named, "the dungeon". So, if I want to see the sky, I have to go outside and literally tip my head backwards. The tall buildings block it out. I'm not used to that. I'm used to being in the comforts and beauty of Daybreak, waking early and taking pictures of the HUGE sky and then sitting in amazement at the beauty that surrounds me. Until I moved west of the valley, I didn't know how incredible the sky was.

Lately, I have been focused on other things. Other things that perhaps in the big scheme of things, really don't matter.  Work has been challenging on many levels. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't confused about what I want. 

I love the challenge and the job. It really is fun.

I love the adult interaction. It's something I haven't had a ton of in the last 5 years.

I love the confidence that I have leading a great team and selling something that I love.

BUT, I'm tired, grumpy and when it comes right down to it, I never look up... For anything.  I am also struggling with just being me.  I am having to be someone else to fit in and I don't like it.  I don't think that pressure is coming from anyone but me, but it's there and constant.  I miss my friends too.  So much it hurts! 

I would be lying if I didn't say that I am conflicted between being at work and being with my family and friends. I don't know if it's working out the way I wanted it to. I'm not happy, at all. B and I have been fighting.... A lot! We don't fight. We just don't.  I also don't know why I am putting all of this out there.  It kind of bruises the pride a little to say that you are struggling, but that's ok.  I'm not worried about that at the moment.

My kids are happy, but I feel a complete disconnect from them and it hurts my heart. Right now, when they hug me, they hold on tight and 90% of the time I have to say, "I love you, but I have to go." And then I do. I can't be alone with my thoughts right now, so I plug in the head phones and crank up the volume and listen to music. It helps, but it is just delaying the inevitable. Thinking, and really deciding what I want and what I should do... I'm still thinking, questioning, wondering, but right at this moment, I am pretty sure the final decision has been made.... because...

(Picture found on pinterest)

10 years...

The last 10 years have been the ULTIMATE roller coaster ride.  We have had our ups, downs and all arounds, but there is NO ONE that I would rather spend it with that this man.

He is my best friend, lover, confidant, and my keeper.  He humbles me.  He supports me. He makes me laugh.  He loves me.  He created 3 amazing lives with me. AND, best of all, he is mine for all eternity.

Thank you, B.  You are my everything and so are these little crazy kiddos of ours! 

Happy 10 year Anniversary!
I LOVE YOU more than you will EVER know!

This week...

There are a lot of things that I love...

but being closer to this during the week,

 is just down right amazing! Ahhh... the memories of Litza's Pizza.

My sister and her husband showed up a little unexpected this week. She lives in New Orleans, LA. So imagine the surprise when she came to the door! The pictures speak for themselves.



 We love you Lauren and John!

Last but not least, I was in the Denver airport waiting to come home from my business trip, when a random lady walked up to me and handed me an American Flag. "Wave it please when the soldiers get off the plane. They are returning from 22 months in Afganastan. They are finally home."

(This is one of the soldiers, his dad held him for a good 15 minutes.)

YOU BET I'LL WAVE IT!

Well, I waved, clapped, cried and thanked them.  And not just me, but the ENTIRE airport terminal erupted in cheers, tears and clapping.  It was amazing.  I was a total boob as I stood there with tears literally streaming down my face.  I can't imagine what they go through and what they have seen.  But for that I am so thankful.

SO, Happy Memorial Day!